He keeps showing up.
This summer has been floating by in a beautiful kind of way. The kids and I have taken a few trips and done some camps but overall it's been full of peace, pool time, creek walking and dancing in the kitchen, with just a smidgen of chaos. There is a quiet confidance that I can only assume Jesus has brought. Sometimes I go to the cemetery to grieve and remember what once was. Often I go to just worship, to talk to Jesus. It's peaceful and I feel close to Ricky. Today I went for that reason. It's hard for me just to sit and be ok with quiet, probably because when I do the sadness is loud.
When I went to pick out the tombstone I thought I would spend hours agonizing over the best way to memorialize him. When the "salesman" pointed out the giant rock hewn out of a mountain in India I knew immediately I'd found what I needed. Today I sat on the rock-like tombstone of the man who once lead our family, I felt alone and unsure of myself. We made such a good team. I've never been a fantastic decision-maker. I would narrow the playing field laying out my three best options, he would pick his favorite and I wouldn't object. Now it's up to me, sometimes it just feels oh-so lonely. I sat there mulling this over, feeling vulnerable.
I began praying and pouring my heart out to Jesus, "DO you really see us, hear us? Ricky was such a rock, DO you have a plan in all of this, because right now I'm at a loss." Jesus showed up with such splendor and shifted my eyes. Isaiah 26 came to mind, I pulled it up, verse 3-4 nearly leaped off my iPhone.
"You will keep in perfect peace all who trust in you, all whose thoughts are fixed on you! Trust in the Lord always, for the Lord God is an eternal ROCK".
What in the actual world? I love when Jesus speaks in a way where you don't have to sit there thinking, is that really you God? The verses are such a sweet reminder that I am actually not alone. He is the ultimate, eternal ROCK. I simply need follow his lead. How good it was to praise him in the middle of grief, when I got back into my car, Thankyou was playing. I've never taken time to listen to the lyrics but today they resonated in my soul.
"How do I say thank you Lord
For the way that You love, and the way that You come
For all that You've done, and all that You'll do
My heart pours out, thank you
You don't have to come, but You always do
You show up in splendor and change the whole room
You don't have to come, but You always do
You show up in splendor and change the whole room
How do I say thank you Lord
For the life that You gave, the cross that You bore
For the love you poured out, to ransom my soul
My heart pours out, this thankful song
You walked through all of my walls
Conquered my shame
Stepped into my past
Filled my world with grace
You didn't have to come, but You always do"
I'm still flabbergasted that the King of the universe can put a verse in my path to re-affirm a faint heart, these lyrics so adequately describe my overwhelming love of Jesus. I listened to this song loud, it was like a minivan concert, I may have sang really loud too. It was the best.
Hoping this encourages you're heart, spend time with Jesus, quiet your soul, be real, he sees you, he hears you and he CHOOSES to show up because He likes us a lot.
When I went to pick out the tombstone I thought I would spend hours agonizing over the best way to memorialize him. When the "salesman" pointed out the giant rock hewn out of a mountain in India I knew immediately I'd found what I needed. Today I sat on the rock-like tombstone of the man who once lead our family, I felt alone and unsure of myself. We made such a good team. I've never been a fantastic decision-maker. I would narrow the playing field laying out my three best options, he would pick his favorite and I wouldn't object. Now it's up to me, sometimes it just feels oh-so lonely. I sat there mulling this over, feeling vulnerable.
I began praying and pouring my heart out to Jesus, "DO you really see us, hear us? Ricky was such a rock, DO you have a plan in all of this, because right now I'm at a loss." Jesus showed up with such splendor and shifted my eyes. Isaiah 26 came to mind, I pulled it up, verse 3-4 nearly leaped off my iPhone.
"You will keep in perfect peace all who trust in you, all whose thoughts are fixed on you! Trust in the Lord always, for the Lord God is an eternal ROCK".
What in the actual world? I love when Jesus speaks in a way where you don't have to sit there thinking, is that really you God? The verses are such a sweet reminder that I am actually not alone. He is the ultimate, eternal ROCK. I simply need follow his lead. How good it was to praise him in the middle of grief, when I got back into my car, Thankyou was playing. I've never taken time to listen to the lyrics but today they resonated in my soul.
"How do I say thank you Lord
For the way that You love, and the way that You come
For all that You've done, and all that You'll do
My heart pours out, thank you
You don't have to come, but You always do
You show up in splendor and change the whole room
You don't have to come, but You always do
You show up in splendor and change the whole room
How do I say thank you Lord
For the life that You gave, the cross that You bore
For the love you poured out, to ransom my soul
My heart pours out, this thankful song
You walked through all of my walls
Conquered my shame
Stepped into my past
Filled my world with grace
You didn't have to come, but You always do"
Hoping this encourages you're heart, spend time with Jesus, quiet your soul, be real, he sees you, he hears you and he CHOOSES to show up because He likes us a lot.
