Whom shall I fear?
"God is our refuge and strength a very present help in trouble. Therefore we will not fear though the earth gives way, though the mountains be moved into the heart of the sea, though it's rivers roar and foam, though the mountains tremble at it's swelling. There is a river whose streams make glad the city of God. God is in the midst of her; she shall not be moved; God will help her when morning dawns" -Psalm 46:1-5
Oh I am so thankful for these sweet words. It is God's unbelievable power that fuels me. With him all things are possible. I used to read these verses and think - because of God miracles happen - people are healed from cancer - people die and come back to life or bills magically get paid with random checks in the mail. I still believe those things do happen on occasion but I am really beginning to see that life with Jesus here, right now is a beautiful miracle. I can face life's curveballs with Jesus, oh how sweet this is. He is by my side, with me, in the middle of life's fears.
I remember talking with our life group several years ago, we were asked to write down our worst fear (talk about an intimate and vulnerable discussion) and then share with the group. I don't really remember what everybody said, I knew right away what mine was. My worst fear was that Ricky would die to young to soon. I remember even talking about it I got shaky. I remember we talked about what the Bible says about fear. In John 16 it says "I have told you these things so that in me you may have peace. In this world you will have trouble. But take heart! I have overcome the world." I read that over and over and tried to soak the verse in. It seemed like an awesome idea on paper - my mind and heart said ok, yes, but it would be just awful, my world would stop and I couldn't go on. Life would plummet and the kids and I would go in a closet and just piddle around in there. Jesus would be there with us so it would make the dark closet tolerable. Hopefully that fear never comes true and I won't have to face it because God knows I just couldn't handle it...
Unfortunately I am facing my worst fear. I hoped so much that this wouldn't be our story. However, you know the beauty of facing this life with Jesus, is that I get to choose my response to this "curveball" (I prefer to think of it as earth-shatterer) with HIM. I can face into my worst fear and get a little crazy and roar back. It is beautiful to me that HE DOES give grace in the moment. This circumstance is so not cool. Nevertheless I get to choose how to respond. Because of Jesus I can look at life with hope - even JOY. I know that He has made a home for Ricky and even now is making a home for me. This is the hope of heaven. I view life differently. Currently I am NOT a fearful person. I have been told that this is normal and it passes. I really hope it won't. Every time a fear comes to mind, I fire back at it with the truth. Am I doing my best? Is Jesus still with me? Is my final destination Heaven? As I face into a fear head-on with the answer to these questions my fears dissipate.
Our culture is full of fearful news feeds.(To be honest I just unfollowed all of the annoying ones, but my feed is pretty boring now) Satan would love to paralyze us with fear. How perfect if we the Church sit in our little closets clinging to Jesus with our fear?
-Fear of job loss
-Fear of persecution
-Fear of stock market
-Fear of ISIS
-Fear of wars
-Fear of something happening to our kids
-Fear of black people
-Fear of white people
-Fear of the stock market
-Fear of evil
These were just the top stories on my newsfeed. You know the crazy thing is none of the fears I had changed what happened to Ricky. The simple truth is that we aren't promised tomorrow. We can face into these fears and roar back. Roar back by recognizing who we are in Jesus and as Christians what our final destination is. Fear is not ok. It will not add to our days, it only robs us of our joy. It is debilitating. As a Christ follower I realize that I can live well in the middle of calamity BECAUSE of Jesus. He has already won. I am free and have the promise of heaven.
Just a small Ricky-story needs to be told. The last movie we went to see was The Revenant. I had no idea what it was about other than a review I saw. It was based on a true story about an overcomer. I'm a sucker for those stories, it sounded like a fantastic movie. There we sat, popcorn in hand, him all loaded up with several oxygen tanks ready to take on this 3 hour movie. Within the first 10 minutes there is the MOST graphic grizzly bear attack. Like the most. It will leave you shaking in your boots. I looked over at him in horror. He knew how I felt about bears. FEAR, pure, petrified fear! Not cool. (When I was 10 a cousin teased me with a stuffed bear head and I've never gotten over it.) I looked over and he was laughing, like rolling on the floor laughing, I hit him, in the theater, oxygen tank and all. He was like, "Yeah, I knew this scene was coming and was pretty excited to watch you take it in. I knew you wouldn't come watch it with me if I told you before. I've watched so many romantic comedies with you it's time to mix it up." I survived but just barely. The Revenant came out on DVD 2 weeks after Ricky passed away, with signs and commercials for it everywhere I couldn't help but be emotional. It was our last movie together. I'm so glad I watched it with him, bear scene and all.
If I would happen to come upon a grizzly now, I might feel a smidgen of fear but mostly I think I'd just roar back. I probably won't go looking for any grizzlies but it's nice not to feel fear.
Oh I am so thankful for these sweet words. It is God's unbelievable power that fuels me. With him all things are possible. I used to read these verses and think - because of God miracles happen - people are healed from cancer - people die and come back to life or bills magically get paid with random checks in the mail. I still believe those things do happen on occasion but I am really beginning to see that life with Jesus here, right now is a beautiful miracle. I can face life's curveballs with Jesus, oh how sweet this is. He is by my side, with me, in the middle of life's fears.
I remember talking with our life group several years ago, we were asked to write down our worst fear (talk about an intimate and vulnerable discussion) and then share with the group. I don't really remember what everybody said, I knew right away what mine was. My worst fear was that Ricky would die to young to soon. I remember even talking about it I got shaky. I remember we talked about what the Bible says about fear. In John 16 it says "I have told you these things so that in me you may have peace. In this world you will have trouble. But take heart! I have overcome the world." I read that over and over and tried to soak the verse in. It seemed like an awesome idea on paper - my mind and heart said ok, yes, but it would be just awful, my world would stop and I couldn't go on. Life would plummet and the kids and I would go in a closet and just piddle around in there. Jesus would be there with us so it would make the dark closet tolerable. Hopefully that fear never comes true and I won't have to face it because God knows I just couldn't handle it...
Unfortunately I am facing my worst fear. I hoped so much that this wouldn't be our story. However, you know the beauty of facing this life with Jesus, is that I get to choose my response to this "curveball" (I prefer to think of it as earth-shatterer) with HIM. I can face into my worst fear and get a little crazy and roar back. It is beautiful to me that HE DOES give grace in the moment. This circumstance is so not cool. Nevertheless I get to choose how to respond. Because of Jesus I can look at life with hope - even JOY. I know that He has made a home for Ricky and even now is making a home for me. This is the hope of heaven. I view life differently. Currently I am NOT a fearful person. I have been told that this is normal and it passes. I really hope it won't. Every time a fear comes to mind, I fire back at it with the truth. Am I doing my best? Is Jesus still with me? Is my final destination Heaven? As I face into a fear head-on with the answer to these questions my fears dissipate.
Our culture is full of fearful news feeds.(To be honest I just unfollowed all of the annoying ones, but my feed is pretty boring now) Satan would love to paralyze us with fear. How perfect if we the Church sit in our little closets clinging to Jesus with our fear?
-Fear of job loss
-Fear of persecution
-Fear of stock market
-Fear of ISIS
-Fear of wars
-Fear of something happening to our kids
-Fear of black people
-Fear of white people
-Fear of the stock market
-Fear of evil
These were just the top stories on my newsfeed. You know the crazy thing is none of the fears I had changed what happened to Ricky. The simple truth is that we aren't promised tomorrow. We can face into these fears and roar back. Roar back by recognizing who we are in Jesus and as Christians what our final destination is. Fear is not ok. It will not add to our days, it only robs us of our joy. It is debilitating. As a Christ follower I realize that I can live well in the middle of calamity BECAUSE of Jesus. He has already won. I am free and have the promise of heaven.
Just a small Ricky-story needs to be told. The last movie we went to see was The Revenant. I had no idea what it was about other than a review I saw. It was based on a true story about an overcomer. I'm a sucker for those stories, it sounded like a fantastic movie. There we sat, popcorn in hand, him all loaded up with several oxygen tanks ready to take on this 3 hour movie. Within the first 10 minutes there is the MOST graphic grizzly bear attack. Like the most. It will leave you shaking in your boots. I looked over at him in horror. He knew how I felt about bears. FEAR, pure, petrified fear! Not cool. (When I was 10 a cousin teased me with a stuffed bear head and I've never gotten over it.) I looked over and he was laughing, like rolling on the floor laughing, I hit him, in the theater, oxygen tank and all. He was like, "Yeah, I knew this scene was coming and was pretty excited to watch you take it in. I knew you wouldn't come watch it with me if I told you before. I've watched so many romantic comedies with you it's time to mix it up." I survived but just barely. The Revenant came out on DVD 2 weeks after Ricky passed away, with signs and commercials for it everywhere I couldn't help but be emotional. It was our last movie together. I'm so glad I watched it with him, bear scene and all.
If I would happen to come upon a grizzly now, I might feel a smidgen of fear but mostly I think I'd just roar back. I probably won't go looking for any grizzlies but it's nice not to feel fear.
